I'm thinking of writing some one-act plays or scenes/skits. The following passage would be the opening of a conceptual one-act play called "My Own Best Nephew." Tell me what you think.
CARLOTTA
(Walks onstage in heels, holding shopping bags, chewing gum, and sporting sunglasses. Answers her buzzing phone): Hello, this is Carlotta Fenzi?...Oh, HELLO, Mrs. Jenkins! (Makes a disgusted face)…What’s that?...Oh, my Tommy? Again? It’s only the third week of school. Do I need to walk over there myself and smack his little…Oh? I thought I had warned administration (All the while, Carlotta paces around, looking uninterested.) …I KNOW this isn’t the best time for him, Mrs. Jenkins. It’s not the best time for me, either. …Why didn’t I tell Tommy sooner? It would’ve shocked him! Now was…well, it was the right time. For reasons you can imagine. …Look, Regina—can I call you Regina? …Look, Mrs. Jenkins. I am an extraordinarily busy woman. A bee can’t be in all parts of the hive at once! …Oh, so you don’t need me there at all? All right, fine. …Oh, I just thought I would have to leave work, is all. …Where? (Looks at her bags)…At a department store…Which one? Why, uh, Lord & Taylor. …That’s right. ...There IS a sale going on, that's correct! I would highly recommend it! (Under her breath) Well, not for YOUR body type… Nothing! Well, Mrs. Jenkins, I tell you, between my interminable work hours and my family and the whole, you know, situation here… I see. I’ll set him straight. He’ll be happy as a clam tomorrow. No swearing at all. I don’t know where he gets it from, the little bastard. …No, no, I said “a little faster.” As in, “I wish this conversation would move a little faster.” (Winces at her mistake) …Now, don’t you worry, Mrs. Jenkins. Go continue your principarial duties. I’ll be sure to give you a discount at Bloomingdale’s. …LORD & TAYLOR! Right. That’s what I meant. See how stressed out I am?! (Fake chuckles)…Yes…well…good day, Mrs. Jenkins. (Hangs up the phone. Under her breath) Whore.
n_q_t
